At Grandma’s hospital the day we go married. Grandma was too cute!
Can you believe it was twenty years ago today that we got married at the hospital where my grandma Mary was staying? We had already started plans for our church wedding that was to happen the following April, but you got called into active duty. We wanted to get married before you left and because my grandmother was ill, we wanted to make it extra special so we decided to have a small ceremony in the hospital chapel. I’m so grateful we were able to turn this unplanned moment into such a special memory. Who knew that turning unplanned moments into something beautiful and special would become a major theme in our marriage?
Grandma Mary and me after the ceremony
I still remember grandma chugging her champagne filled Dixie cup before the toast and asking for another before anyone else even had their first. She was such a character! We had a second ceremony in a church when you came back nine months later, with grandma again in attendance. I believe she may have had one or two glasses of champagne, this time in fancier glassware though!
The Three Musketeers!
Years later we had Griffin and once again things didn’t go as we planned. But, once again, it made room for even more special moments and opportunities. We have been given an amazing gift in being Griffin’s parents. He teaches us every day what it means to be your unique and beautiful self, to live your passion, and to love without limits. He’s also helped us become outside-the-box thinkers, which has helped us when dealing with life’s challenges. We’ve experienced a lot of tears and extreme stress (let’s be honest we still do sometimes). The stress brought us further apart at times, but ultimately we realized we wanted the same things. We continue to face unexpected life events, and even after being married for twenty years, we are still learning how to communicate and support each other.
Look How Young We Look!
In recent years, we took the whole “in sickness and in health” vow to heart. When you were in the hospital and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong, I felt so hopeless. Two whole weeks you were there, and then on-and-off for what seemed like forever. Luckily your mom was here to watch Griffin and we had friends that filled in the gaps. I was grateful to be able to spend the days with you. We started a routine pretty quickly: I would come as soon as I could. Most of the time you’d still be sleeping when I arrived. When you woke up I’d go down to the cafeteria and get us hot teas and a pastry. We’d then watch “Ellen” and “Family Feud”. I actually started to look forward to this time with you. We’d joke that we wanted to spend time alone but this was not what we had in mind! They finally figured out what was going on and to this day you still deal with the side effects. But I know you are getting stronger and healthier each day.
And now you’re helping me work though my anxiety and depression. Another unplanned chapter, another opportunity to bring us closer together. I’m so thankful that you make me laugh and that you are so encouraging and supportive.
Who would have expected two singing waiters to have the story we have? Or that I ever had bangs? No, just No!!
We finally got a professional photo taken of just the two of us
Our story is just beginning. I see that after twenty years of marriage the true beauty in us being together has come from the plans that didn’t go as expected. Marriage is challenging. There are times when you can’t stand each other, when you question why you ever got married in the first place. You need space to remember what brought you together, and if doing the work you need to do to stay together is something you both want to do.
Recently we were having a difficult time talking to each other. We were afraid of hurting the other person and adding to the other person’s stress. I said to you “I wish we could talk to each other the way we did the first night we met.” You agreed and that simple remembering has helped us start talking again, even when it feels uncomfortable and the last thing we want to do.
Here’s to more laughing and to making the unexpected and unplanned moments special!